Straight Talk: Dealing with the Mother-In-Law || STEVE HARVEY

– What’s the best way to
deal with an unpleasant mother-in-law? – When it comes to the mother-in-law, we don’t need to get involved. Lean back and let your
man be the man and say, “Hey Mom, you wanna see
me and the grandchildren, “mind your own business,
stop giving orders, “stop taking control of the house.” A lot of these men, they’re afraid to say, your wife is your number one priority. Tell your mother to step back
(clapping) in a respectful way! – Go ahead. – The last thing you need to
do is have the man, Siggy, say anything to his mother. – [Siggy] You gonna do it? – Men can’t handle it, a fight with you, much less his mother and you! No, no, no. Take the high road. Love her into a relationship. I’m telling you, I have
seen it and seen it. Don’t step in between a man and his Mama. Just let her run it, take the high road. Kill her with kindness.
– Wait a second. – Kill her with kindness.
(clapping) – But what if you can’t? – Then pray to God that He intervene. And that He comes– – So if you’ve tried and
you tried and you try and you can’t–
– It’ll work. – Prayer doesn’t work. You need to have the man
– Prayer works, honey. step up and be the man.
– Prayer works. – OK, why can’t you do it together? – Now, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant prayer don’t work in all situations.
– Prayer don’t work with mother-in-laws. – There’s black people,
“Prayer works for everything!” (laughing)
(clapping) No, she meant in that
situation where you got a overbearing in-law. I gotta protect her ’cause I– When my hood rolls up, “Prayer work for everything!” (laughing)
(clapping) This ain’t even on the subject no more. (laughing) All right, Rachel? – I feel like, let me
try to find something in common with her. – Yes, work for the relationship. – To move forward,
which is her son, right? She loves her son, so
like, lead with that first. That’s what I was trying to say. – I’m just saying, if I left it to Travis, (clapping) if I left it, Steve, if I
left it to Travis to fix anything with any woman about anything, he’d be like, “Uh.” He don’t know. – Yeah. – So I got to put that
olive branch out there. I got to love her into a relationship. – Because let me say this. Men who love their mother
and most real men do. – [Kim] They do. – Most men who have a
problem with they mother, you should probably leave them because if you–
(clapping) any man that has a problem
with the first woman he ever loved, which is his mama, and done broke up with her, you next. So, just understand that. But here’s the deal. Most men hold their mother
in a certain reverence. It’s hard to knock that down. Go over there and tell her, hey man, my mother passed when I was 40. To that day, I was her boy.
– Baby. – I was her boy. “Boy, come in here.” I’m on TV. I got some money. – She don’t care. – If you get your man involved, he gon’ short circuit ’cause he can’t, it’s his mother. Now, he can, he should
say, as she suggested, “Mom, come on now. “Come on now, this is, give her a chance. “She’s really a sweet
woman, she’s great for me. “I love her. “I want you to give her a chance. “She good to me like
you’ve been good to me.” Ya know, and then just get on out the way. And then you gotta do
some of what Rachel said. You gotta find something in common. Hell, all y’all like to shop. – [Kim] That’s right. (clapping) OK, so we good with that one? – We gon’ pray about it. (laughing) – Prayer fix everything! (laughing) Hey ladies, thank you for
sharing your opinions today. We’ll be right back. (cheering)
(upbeat jazzy music) Hey, you made it to the end of this video. I got a lot more that you’re gonna enjoy. So just click to watch the next one. Make sure you subscribe to
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  1. I Agree With The First Lady That a Man Should Set Those Boundaries. Because you can be super nice to the mom and she can be the cruel type and run all over you or you could tell her how it is and she could use you as the scapegoat to win her son over. His mom is not your mom and does not understand you the way he does. I feel like when its conflicts it only makes things worse in your relationship because somethings she may want to be included in and they should stay between you and your spouse & it could get to be overwhelming. The big lady was saying let things be but if you're unhappy with the way the mom is treating you it will make you distant overtime and that in turn will affect the bond between the family causing more confusion and heartache. When he could just talk to her if she loves and respects her son she will value his feelings and love him regardless and understand where he is coming from.

  2. A man should be able to manage his mom and wife equally. His mom for giving him birth, teaching him morals and values and being with him until he’s a full grown man. A wife for being the mom for his kids, teaching them morals and values how to live in this world. Both are equally important. It’s natural for a mom, to be protective about kids be it son or a daughter. I think mom should understand his son is a grown up man he has his family and life to care of , at the same time the wife should understand that her husband is her baby. Mom loves her son more than anything. Mom should respect the woman her son is married to, so does the wife. She should respect mother in law for being his mom. After all she is his mom and she is the main reason why her son even exists.

  3. Oh girl so true….be respectful because she is his mother. I couldn’t break through her coldness with finding a common ground. So I had to just had to be kind but don’t get close and don’t open up to her!!!!

  4. I live close to and see mine almost daily. At first, we struggled to have a good relationship because I was the first woman her youngest son had ever been with, so the family looked at me as if I was stealing him away from them, but here we are 4 years later and we’re all one big happy family because they finally realized that they weren’t losing a son but gaining a daughter in law, and he made it very clear from day 1 that I’m not going anywhere. The moral of my story is, there’s a light at the end of the mother in law tunnel if you choose to walk it out in love instead of kill each other.

  5. Prayer works and Changes things if you believe. First the man can suggest "Come on give my Woman a chance. 2nd Find something in common as women only a woman can mend a bridge with Mom in Law. No man can tell the woman gave him off Back off his woman or he'll kick her to the curve sorry ladies men who respect and love mom can't do that

  6. Real talk straight topic and please make sure you are happy in your home make peace when there's none and no man would like to abandon his mother for his wife or girlfriend what ever that good for your wife is equally good for your mother daughter in-laws love and respect your mother in-laws period 👌

  7. Kim is a trip lol I agree with her! Prayer works! I know I had a overbearing mother in law and prayed and prayed and it worked not overnight but in time it worked.

  8. Oh no! My husband handles that. My own Mama can't treat me like trash, and neither can my Mom in law. No woman can run my house but me Period! I bet Steve ain't talking that same crap when it comes to the men😐

  9. DO NOT let momma run it or she will run the wife off! I've seen it. I've lived it. Husband is grown. He needs to act like it and put his wife first, unless he plans on marrying his momma.

  10. I find it annoying that they only talk about MILs. What about FIL relationships?? There are men involved too you know.

  11. Thats a bad statement to make "if you dont love/like his mother leave him alone. Not knowing nothing the cause the tension. Me and my mother relationship isnt the best but that shouldnt indicate me not being worthy of dating you lol.

  12. Be careful how you treat Mother-in-laws, you may have a Daughter-in-law in your position. If possible make peace with all people.

  13. 😂🤣these responses are funny I’m just not going to say nothing I definitely got feelings about the topic though OH JESUS

  14. I don't like her… but I have learned to stay away from their relationship. That was due to my son and I having a deep intellectual conversation and setting boundaries. Her behavior is off the charts. I decided to keep my distance and allow my son a clear vision of his relationship. He's feeling a bit cornered by her but as I always say like my mom said to me. "You picked her/him" As a mom of a son I will always be there for HIM. She is not my daughter. She is my son's fiance'.

  15. No one comes between my mom she comes first .
    What is this Rachel doing here when she becomes an expert.
    I don't like her horse hair.
    I wonder how she looks like in the morning without a tupe and a makeup

  16. Shut up Steve. You speak For yourself not for everybody who had a mother-in-law you probably was a mama’s boy like a whole lot of these mamas boys that’s why you were married so many times

  17. Prayer does work however you have put Feet to your Faith. I'm a believer and love always wins. I had a horrible relationship with my in-laws and when I tell you it was bad I had put a restraining order against her it got bad. I had to ask God for help and he gave instructions GOD helped me to see things differently and through love we get along. PRAYER FIX everyTHANG!

  18. I’m over impressing most monster-in-laws. They tend to coddle their sons too damn much. If she has no reason not to like me other than her own insecurities and jealousy, I’m stepping back.

  19. I disagree with Steve. Not everyone comes from a healthy home. Moms can be toxic too and it may require disconnection. I'd say instead..any man comfortable with disrespecting their mother is wounded and not ready for a relationship.

  20. Listen! The mother in law ain't ruling me. Noway. If she steps to me wrong I will correct it right there I'm not waiting for my man to do it

  21. If the MIL is disrespectful to me, that’s it. All is cut off. And NO, you wouldn’t EVER see my kids. There, I’ve made it easy for everyone. Some ppl like to create drama/ hostile environments, and I’ve learned the best way is to just cut it off. Oh well. There’s a whole wide world of ppl waiting to disrespect you, only to take it from someone “close” to you. Hahah. Never. I married the man, NOT HIS MAMA.

  22. The reality is that some mother in law will never accept you and soetimes your children (yes thier own grand children) no matter what so just live your life and do your family. in front of their son they always avt nice so the husband will always think that you are the one who has a problem with his mother. Take the hide road and pray

  23. I was with a man the was good to his mom but not so good to me. He didnt really have a good role model. He started drinking acted just like his dad. I left after he started hitting me and joined the army. Ended up in 2 more unfulfilling relationships. My oldest twos dad Never paid support. Then right before our second child turned David DelRio says he gives up all legal right to the kids. Like that is how it happens. He said they are not a paycheck. He got mad the now 18 year old would talk to him. He said if he pays support would she talk to him. But he is a stranger to her and she didn't want to talk to him regardless so she said no. To he they are just an object that has his last name and he is trying to own it and say that its his.

  24. If you treat your mother inlaw so bad, things will come around. Your daughter inlaw or son inlaw will treat the same way as you did before

  25. Dear woman! never try to compete with a man's LOVE to his mom. It is extraordinary and out of this world that you cant beat it. Try to solve your differences with the in-law some other way.

  26. A man should protect his wife. Regardless who it may be. She shouldn't have to battle for position in his life. He can love and respect his Mom. But ur wife is another level. Ur wife can do what moma do. But in beast mode.

  27. Man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, his helpmate. The wife can politely discuss the concerns with her husband and he can lovingly handle it. I am in the midst of pre-marital counseling right now and the pastor told us a story about how his mother was trying to out stage his new wife at all costs. He came home one night to his wife crying because his mother was making her feel inadequate as a wife. He had to politely meet with his mother and let her know that he will not stand for her to disrespect his wife and if it comes down to the choice, he will choose his wife every time. He said yes, his mother did shed a few tears that night, but that was 20 years ago and he said his wife and mother have gotten along ever since then.
    Sometimes life is hard, but that is for sure the mans position to handle.

  28. Some people ,family members,in laws you have to love from afar and see them in dosages and not all the time. I'm speaking from experience.

  29. I’ve noticed a distinct correlation between single moms and horrible mother in law behavior. He’s not your man get over it! My advice is make it very clear to your husband that you will confront her and that will make a man step up really quickly, I guarantee it.

  30. @2:14 BINGO, she said "I got to love her into a relationship." Speaking all facts! You are being welcomed into the family so start from the START the woman who gave birth/or raised the man that you love and married..DUH!

  31. I would be upset if my mother in law don’t like me, I would keep my distance if she doesn’t like me that’s her bad not mine I’m not trying to kiss up to someone who is just tolerating me

  32. What do you mean ‘if you want to see me and your grandchild’ that’s like a threat that if you don’t back of then you won’t get to see the grand children and her son…..are you serious? You cannot use the grandchildren as a consequence!

  33. Some men are non confrontational so I wouldn’t expect that type of man to say anything. It also depends on the type of relationship that man has with his mother. If she is the type of woman who is reasonable she will listen if he says anything. If he is scared of his mother A he won’t say anything and B she won’t listen if she is unreasonable to boot.

  34. Newark sister I'm very sorry to say a prayer walk in there is power in the blood I'm sorry prayer does work how dare you😤☹

  35. My King hates his mom with the fire of 10000 suns. But he luvs me and worships the ground I step my delicate foot upon. Been together for 22 years

  36. I had two mother inlaw – birthday mom and adopted mom 😊☹️❤️💪 – I respect them and serve and took care holidays and I know my place – I never put my husband in a situation to choose or to tell the mom’s anything.. I came into his life wen he was a man and I knew better and I dare not to challenge these two ladies 😊❤️ I miss them Fane Ha’ungatau & Laukau Sitauti R.I.P. ladies and thanks for beautiful loving man that they raised and teach .. I hope my son would treat me that way also and I hope my future daughter inlaw loves me and my husband if not I’m kool! My job today to raise my son to be a good father /husband to cook & laundry & all .. that’s all … never once did I ever fight with my two in-laws and it wasn’t easy but like I said I knew better 💪😎❤️🙏 hugs frm Sacramento

  37. Real men that loves their mama understand. Real Mama's should not gets nosey with their son and his family business.

  38. I agree with the First Lady. Kinda with the second lady too…the issue with that is that I’m not kissing nobody’s ass😩

  39. I really agree with Siggy! The man needs to do the right thing (The woman should not have to be the person to have that conversation). It's not about stepping in between him and his mother. It's a matter of respect for your child's choices and relationship. You don't have to even like your child's partner but you have to allow him to make his own choices. It is not ok to hide behind the title of 'mother' and cause unnecessary conflict or hurt in your child's life because you do not like his partner. It's just not right! We pretend that being a mother makes you right all the time with everything concerning your child; that is not the case. Mothers are humans; Mothers are not infallible!; Mom, step back!!!!

  40. 𝗟𝗼𝗹 😆 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗵 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸.

  41. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Mothers, let's pray for our sons and their wives. We truly Love them, but there comes a time when the nest can't hold them anymore. Therefore…if we truly trust God, he'll take care of everything. Blessings!

  42. If your man shows any momma boy peesoanlity, run for your life! Youll be forever disrespected, not first priority and treated like a second class child in his family….

  43. A man needs to CUT THE (UMBILICAL) CORD. Clearly if a man's mother is able to interfere or conflict with his partner… the man is still a boy or mama's/papas boy forever. If he can't protect his partner and put her first…he has no business in being a boyfriend or husband.

  44. I won't have this problem cause my mom has already passed away but since i am the youngest kid she would definitely have been hard to win over for any person i would have introduced her to

  45. I’ve been married for 20 years and have been with my hubby since we were teens. I haven’t seen him step to his mom on my behalf and I’m not sure if he’s able to so that.

  46. For 5 years my husband allowed his mom to disrespect me in every way possible. Because He chose to not cut the umbilical cord in the beginning, she is now cut off from our family. She is not allowed to be anywhere near my husband, myself and our children. No phone calls, no visitation, no gifts NOTHING. Though I forgive her and love her, she is to keep her distance away from us. Period. I gave her warning after warning after warning but it went in one ear and out the other. Life goes on. My mother in law made my husband into her surrogate husband. A lot of single mothers do that to their sons. Men, step up and Protect your wives!

  47. Reminds me of the title of a popular Hindi TV series 'A mother-in-law was also a daughter-in-law once upon a time':)

  48. No. Prayer does not fix everything. Action does. If you can’t defend me against your mother, you are not doing your role as a “protector”.

  49. Well I wish my husband understood stood this. His mother lives with us. Sometimes we get along and sometimes we don’t be she always petty.

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