Judge James – Weaving the Scene of the Crime


AS YOU MAY KNOW, IN ADDITION TO MY WORK AS TALK SHOW HOST, I ALSO SERVE AS A TV JUDGE. I HEAR CASES ALONG WITH MY TRUSTY BAILIFF. THESE ARE REAL CASES BROUGHT BY REAL LITIGANTS IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT WHO HAVE AGREED TO PUT THEIR LEGAL FAITH IN THE ALWAYS FAIR AND SENSIBLE HANDS OF JUDGE JAMES. >>THIS IS THE PLAINTIFF. AMBER HARRISON. SHE CLAIMS THE DEFENDANT ENTERED INTO AN AGREEMENT TO PROMOTE HER LINE OF WIGS BUT DID NOT FULFILL HIS OBLIGATION. SHE’S SUING FOR $3,400. THIS IS THE DEFENDANT, DANTE HALL. HE MAINTAINS THE PLAINTIFF WAS DISORGANIZED AND FELL BEHIND SCHEDULE, WHICH PROHIBITED HIM FROM CARRYING OUT HIS AGREED-ON DUTIES. IT’S THE CASE OF WEAVING THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.>>Guillermo: RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND. >>WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS IS REAL. PARTICIPANTS ARE NOT ACTORS, THEY’RE ACTUAL LITIGANTS ABOUT IT A CASE PENDING IN CIVIL COURT. BOTH PARTIES HAVE AGREED TO DROP THEIR CLAIMS TO HAVE THEIR CASE DECIDED HERE BY JUDGE JAMES.>>Jimmy: HI, GUILLERMO. >>HI, JUDGE JAMES. THE LITIGANTS ARE SEATED, YOUR HONOR. >>Jimmy: THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, WE GOT SOME GOOD-LOOKING HAIR HERE IN THIS ROOM. TELL THE GALLERY TO BE SEATED. >>OH, YOU CAN SIT DOWN NOW.>>JUDGE JAMES?>>Jimmy: YES. >>I BROUGHT YOU SOME HAIR TOO. >>Jimmy: OH, THANK YOU, I NEED SOME HAIR. ALL RIGHT.>>THERE YOU GO. >>Jimmy: OH! WOW. I LOVE IT. YEAH, WILL YOU HELP JUDGE JAMES WITH HIS –>>YEAH, SURE. >>Jimmy: YES, THANK YOU. THIS IS HOW I PUT WIGS ON.>>WOW, JUDGE JAMES. >>Jimmy: HOW DO I LOOK?>>THAT’S A WICKIWEAVE EXCLUSIVE. >>Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ALL RIGHT, I DO FEEL VERY BRITISH RIGHT NOW. SO AMBER HARRISON, YOU’RE SUING DANTE HALL, ALSO KNOWN AS TATITI, FOR A TOTAL OF $3,400. YOU CLAIM MR. HALL ENTERED INTO AN AGREEMENT TO ENGAGE AS BRAND AMBASSADOR ON BEHALF OF YOUR COMPANY, WICKED WEAVES, BUT DID NOT FULFILL HIS OBLIGATION. >>YES. >>Jimmy: MR. HALL, DO YOU PREFER TATITI?>>YOU CAN CALL ME TATITI. >>Jimmy: YOU CLAIMED YOU TRIED TO FULFILL YOUR OBLIGATION. >>THAT’S RIGHT. >>Jimmy: BUT MISS HARRISON WAS DISORGANIZED AND BEHIND SCHEDULE, SO YOU QUIT. IS THAT CORRECT?>>YES, SIR. >>Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. AND MAY I ASK, WHAT IS YOUR INVOLVEMENT IN THIS?>>I AM THE BRAND AMBASSADOR FOR WICKED WIGS, I’M JACQUELINE, MS. JACQUELINE.>>Jimmy: MS. JACQUELINE. HOW ABOUT MS. JACQUELINE, HUH, GUILLERMO?>>YEAH, GOOD LOOKING, NICE. >>THANK YOU.>>Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. SO TATITI, YOU ARE AN INSTAGRAM CELEBRITY?>>I’M A PERSONALITY. >>Jimmy: SO YOU POST INDIVIDUAL YOLES AND THEN YOU ENTER INTO AGREEMENTS TO PROMOTE VARIOUS PRODUCTS?>>EXACTLY. >>Jimmy: SO YOU ASKED TATITI TO WEAR THE WICKED WEAVE? ARE YOU WEARING A WICKED WEAVE RIGHT NOW?>>I AM, I AM. >>THAT’S CRAZY, THAT IS SO CRAZY. I’VE BEEN ASKING HIM FOR THE LONGEST, CAN YOU GIVE ME BACK MY WIG? CAN YOU GIVE ME MY MONEY, OR WHATEVER. >>HE MADE VIDEOS FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S PRODUCTS IN THE WIG THAT HE STOLE. BECAUSE IF HE SAY HE QUIT BECAUSE OF HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT HE SHOULD HAVE GAVE THE WIG BACK AND THE MONEY BACK.>>GIRL, OH MY GOODNESS, HERE YOU GO. >>WOW.>>SHE WANTED IT BACK SO BAD.>>WOW. >>SHE WANTED IT BACK SO BAD.>>SWEAT IT OUT. I WANT THE MONEY NOW. I WANT THE MONEY NOW. >>Jimmy: HOW MUCH IS THE WIG WORTH?>>OBVIOUSLY $3,000. >>NO. THIS WIG IS WORTH $700.>>Jimmy: $700, OKAY. >>SHE GOT THAT BACK. >>SHE PAID MR. HALL $500? HOW DID WE GET TO $3,400?>>RIGHT.>>BECAUSE IT ALSO INCLUDES A TRAVEL — SO WE HAD — [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: THAT IS A WICKED WEAVE.>>YEAH.>>I FEEL LIKE TAYLOR T. NOW.>>YOU SEE, BABY, YOU SEE. YES, WORK IT, WORK, WORK.>>Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. SO THE DAYS THAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING, WHAT WERE YOU DOING THOSE DAYS?>>HELPING GET HER SHOP READY. >>Jimmy: NO HE WASN’T. >>YES, I WAS. I WAS HELPING.>>NO HE WASN’T.>>I WAS DOING THIS THING ON THE END, DUCT TAPE THINGS ON THE WALL –>>DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?>>YOU THINK HE CAME TO HELP DO ANYTHING BESIDES EAT AND DRINK STUFF?>>Jimmy: I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE. >>I HAD MY OWN MONEY TO DO SO, KEEP IT CUTE. >>YOU KEEP IT CUTE. >>YOU KEEP IT CUTE, JACKIE. KEEP IT CUTE OVER THERE. THAT’S ALL YOU’RE GOOD FOR.>>Jimmy: DID YOU MAKE UP KEEP IT CUTE OR IS THAT A THING I DON’T KNOW ABOUT?>>NO, IT’S GAY LINGO.>>Jimmy: OH, OKAY. WE’RE LEARNING GAY LINGO.>>KEEP IT CUTE, NOW.>>Jimmy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EXACTLY?>>KEEP IT CUTE, SHE’S A CUTE GIRL, KEEP IT CUTE AND NOT TALK SO MUCH.>>OH, NO. YOU HAVE INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE BESIDES INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS?>>MY OWN PLACE, I DON’T STAY WITH MY MOM LIKE YOU DO. [ CROSS TALK AND SHOUTING ]>>YOU HAVE MONEY BUT YOU CAN’T PAY ME BACK –>>SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.>>OBJECTION, OBJECTION — >>Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU OBJECTING TO?>>WHO ARE YOU?>>ARE YOU HERE BECAUSE OF ME? I’M GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN — SETH JARVIS IN THE BUILDING, YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE OF ME. >>I DON’T KNOW WHO HE IS. >>WHAT?>>Jimmy: OKAY. I’VE HEARD A LOT HERE.>>YEAH.>>Jimmy: AND I STILL HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE TO SEE MY WIG IN THE MIRROR SO I’D LIKE TO GO DO THAT. I AND I WILL BE BACK WITH MY DECISION ON THIS CASE.>>KEEP IT CUTE. >>Jimmy: I WILL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>WILL JUDGE JAMES LEAVE IT TO AMBER? OR WILL HE DECIDE IT’S TATITI TIME? WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE ROMANCE BETWEEN MISS JACQUELINE AND THIS HAIRY HORN DOG? WE’LL FIND OUT WHEN JUDGE JAMES RETURNS. >>THIS WIGMAKER SAYS SHE WAS WELL OFLY RIPPED OFF. THIS INSTAGRAM INFLUENCE IS ISN’T HAVING IT. THIS BUY FANT BARRISTER IS TICKLED PINK. JUDGE JAMES IS ABOUT TO RULE. LET’S LISTEN.>>Jimmy: IT LOOKS GOOD. OKAY. WELL, I’VE REVIEWED THE MATERIALS –>>HOLD ON. YOU CAN SIT DOWN NOW. >>Jimmy: PLEASE SIT. I’VE HEARD YOUR TESTIMONY. IT WAS ALL VERY ENTERTAINING. TATITI, YOU WERE PAID $500 TO MAKE THE VIDEO?>>RIGHT. >>Jimmy: YOU DID NOT MAKE THE VIDEO?>>NO. >>Jimmy: OKAY. I AM INCLINED TO RULE IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF IN THE AMOUNT OF $500. I THINK ULTIMATELY IF YOUR GOAL WAS TO PROMOTE WICKED WEAVES, I THINK WE’VE DONE IT HERE.>>YES, KEEP IT CUTE, JUDGE!>>Jimmy: I THINK THAT DOES KEEP IT CUTE. I WANT TO ALSO THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME A NEW PHRASE THAT I WILL BE USING IN THE FUTURE. >>ME TOO, JUDGE. >>Jimmy: BOTH OF US WILL BE USE. HE’S DANCING DUTY. I RULE IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF IN THE AMOUNT OF $500. THANK YOU. EVERYONE MAY LEAVE. >>THANK YOU.>>ALL RIGHT, JUDGE.>>JUDGE JAMES RENDERED HIS INVESTMENT. LET’S SPEAK WILT THE DEFENDANT. WA WERE YOU HAPPY, PLEASED WITH JUDGE JAMES’ DECISION?>>I’M PLEASED. I’M GLAD SHE GOT HER MONEY. >>ARE YOU SAD TO GIVE UP THE WIG?>>A LITTLE BIT. THAT WAS MY FAVORITE COLOR. >>LET’S BRING IN THE PLAINTIFF. COME ON IN. NOW LET ME ASK, WHAT IS THIS MADE OF?>>THIS IS HUMAN HAIR.>>LET ME SEE THIS. I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE REAL YOU. COME ON, LET ME SEE. NO, NO, NO?>>LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. YOU CAN’T NEVER PULL A BLACK WOMAN’S WEAVE OFF THAT’S A SIN. THAT’S A SIN.>>I WON THIS HAIR.>>OH MY GOD.>>I GOT IT! YEAH!>>ON THE NEXT “JUDGE JAMES.”>>DID YOU EVER TAKE MONEY OUT OF MY GRANDFATHER’S CHECKING ACCOUNT FOR THE PURPOSES OF GAMBLING, SPECIFICALLY, VIDEO POKER?>>ARE YOU CRAZY?>>YOU ARE UNDER OATH, YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: THAT WAS MY AUNT CHIPPY.

12 comments

  1. I seriously hate cousin sal. He is not even funny. You gotta replace him, Jimmy. It was so rude what he did at the last! Not funny at all, sal. You were not funny in any of the videos I watched of you.

  2. Sal should've gotten the dog ish slapped out of him. That was disrespectful and out of line!!! Jimmy should've addressed that

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