As you may know, in addition to my work as a talk show host and hair stylist I am also a beloved TV judge. From time to time I hear cases along with my trusty bailiff, Guillermo who is still working on, or who’s given up. These are real cases from small claims court with real litigants who put their disputes in very good hands: these hands. The hands of the man known as Judge James. This is the plaintiff, Scott Davies. He rented a private one-bedroom apartment from the defendant, only to discover on moving day that the unit was merely a living room. He’s suing for $1400. This is the defendant, Daniel DeVore. He maintains the plaintiff was aware of the living arrangement but changed his mind. It’s the case of The Justice of the Lease. Raise your right hand. Can be seated. You can sit down. The litigants have been sworn in. Very good, and before we begin I’d like to congratulate you, Guillermo. Guillermo has been named Bailiff of the Month. Right on. Good job.
Thank you. Okay, alright. Well I have Scott Davies, you are suing Daniel DeVore for $1400, which you claim is the amount you paid the defendant to rent a private one bedroom with a shared bathroom, and later you discovered it was just the living room. Correct? Yes, Your Honor. Mr. DeVore, you claim the plaintiff simply changed his mind after he moved into the property you offered him several solutions to help resolve the situation, but he refused and decided to sue. Correct? That’s correct, Judge James. Mr. Davies, let’s start with you. Well, Your Honor, I found the Craigslist ad and I have the Craigslist ad right here. I don’t know which one he gave you. Bailiff.
Thank you, Guillermo. And essentially, you’ll see right there, it doesn’t say den at all. It says private room. So I met him at his office, I gave him cash, and he gave me the keys. So immediately, I went back to the building to see if the keys got me into where I needed to be. They only got me into the living room, so I called him, I said “I think you forgot a key.” He basically started to manipulate the situation, telling me that that’s the space I rented, and if I’m not familiar with the laws in California it’s if you give somebody cash for a certain set of keys, that’s the room you’re getting. Mr. DeVore?
Yes, Judge. What happened?
I had two ads going at the same time and it wasn’t a living room, it was a den and a private room. And one was $695, one was $895. He’s just showing you the one ad that I had ran at that point. Do you have the other ad?
Yeah, believe it or not, I do not have the other ad, but Oh there you go. That’s the only ad, sir. No, there was multiple ads.
No, that was the only ad I saw. You know what, little brother, you better give me a second while I’m speaking, brother. Well then you should’ve brought the second ad, big brother. Listen, we got two rooms. Campbell’s a witness, so I don’t have to worry. We have somebody who was here. Come on, big brother, you’re not organized man. Listen, little brother– we’re in court right now– you cut a deal. You guys think of each other as brothers? Well he calls me brother, so apparently he’s my brother. Like you said, you had to call your mom that night– Of course, I’m a big momma’s boy. I’m not afraid to admit it, I love my mom. I love your mom, too. I bet you do, I bet you do. This was the other ad I was running. Don’t worry, brother. Mr. DeVore, what is this you’re showing me? It’s all black. It’s just black. That’s the ad that I ran for $695. Well why can’t I read it? ‘Cause he’s a scammer. Listen, little Nick Jonas, let it slide. You’re sweating there, you’re getting roasted, look at your forehead. It’s hot, I’m in a jacket. I’m trying to dress up for the Judge. Come on guys, order in the court. Take it easy, relax. Tell him to quiet down, man. He’s like a little terrier running around the court. Shut up, fat boy. Shut your mouth.
Come over here and tell me to shut up. Come over here and tell me to shut up. Hold on. Just, real quickly, you are no longer Bailiff of the Month. You can’t let this go on like this. Did he move in, Campbell? Yes or no? He did.
He did move in, Campbell. He stayed the night. Campbell, correct? That’s correct. There you go. So, Campbell, you are living in the house now? Yes sir I am. Are you in any danger? I hope not, Your Honor. Campbell, are you currently under the influence of marijuana? That’s right. Say something, Campbell! Come on now. Campbell, say something! Help me out here, man! Campbell, are you gonna do anything? Say anything, Campbell! Are you alive? What the frick man? I’ve seen more personality in a can of Campbell’s Soup! Say something, Campbell! Come on now. Alright, I’m gonna go to my chambers and maybe have a snack and then I’ll come back and I will rule on this case. Will Judge James side with Little Brother or Big Brother? Will Guillermo have to say adios to his Best Bailiff award? And is Campbell mm, mm wasted? Judge James’s verdict when we return. This mistreated mama’s boy says he received the rental runaround. This loudmouth landlord disagrees. And this red-eyed witness thinks this is all a dream. Judge James is about to rule. Let’s listen. Can be seated. It’s a good thing you guys don’t live together because you really don’t get along. I think you can understand, Mr. DeVore, that without the ad, you really don’t have any evidence. I will say my primary concern here is for the welfare of Campbell. Campbell, are you here under duress? No.
Do you know what duress means? I do. I have reviewed the evidence. I rule in favor of of the plaintiff in the amount of $1378 and 68 cents, minus one night’s stay in Mr. DeVore’s den. Arrest everyone. Alright, Judge James has rendered his verdict. Both sides came out swinging. Let’s talk to the defendant. How you doin’? Good how are you? Now Judge James said you failed to produce evidence of a previous ad. What do you think? Well he rented, he did it, he knows the deal he did but sorry we couldn’t show Judge James what he needed to see. Right. Now, Campbell, earlier you said you were not living in his place under duress. You want to blink twice if you’re in trouble? Okay, alright we’ll take that up with the authorities. On the next Judge James What is the purpose of this meditation shrine? To meditate on. You’re very picky for a guy who doesn’t button his shirt. I’ll tell you that. Alright well keep Campbell in your prayers tonight.