How Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Should Have Ended


Why did you say that name? It’s his mother’s name! Wait, your mom’s name is Martha? Yes. That’s so wild, my mom’s name is Martha. Oh, no way! What are the odds? Who knows. Well this changes everything. You wanna like hang out? Go get some coffee? Well that was a really sudden change in attitude. But yea sure. I actually don’t have a lot of friends. Sweet, I know just the place. Sooo… what’s up? We should probably go save my mother now… Oh yea! I totally forgot. We’ll come back later. You need to get everyone out of the building now! OH, you THINK?!? Yes! You think that’s a good idea, Mr. Wayne? Yes, that’s why I’m calling. I mean, I was gonna stay here and work but since you’ve given us the go ahead, I’ll start to respect the fact that aliens are attacking the city and it might now be safe up here. Holy cow, what is your deal? Pl- please don’t… Please stop that. Cherry? Please stop… stop. Please, please stop. So can I have all those things I asked for? Uh no, I don’t have that kind of clearance. I’m just a senator. Excuse me, you’ve stolen something that doesn’t belong to you. Who are you? Are you saying you want to know my secret identity? Hehe- I’M Batman! -Clears throat- I mean, (cough) maybe… Tell me… do you have insurance? You better. Well technically, you hit me. Also, I just saw you murder a bunch of people so… I’m kind of gonna have to take you in. Oh, well then… Like a good butler, Alfred is there. I’ve got you master Wayne. What?!? Only by working together, can we… (gasp) Dang it! This man has a bomb in his chair. Ahhh! Save the day! Super tickles!!! Coochy coochy coo! No, no! Coochy, coochy! Ha, hahahah, Hahaha! This is a nightmare! Ahhh!!! Oh my gosh! Bruce!!! Listen to me!! Rotten tomatoes! Rotten tomatoes, everywhere!!! What the heck is happening right now?! When you got here you had but an hour Now it’s less… Oh snap, an hour? I better hurry then! Holy crap! Is this my mother, Lex? What? Yes. I mean I flew around the city a few times and used my x-ray vision… but I gotta make sure, is this the mother of mine that you threatened to murder in front of my face? Yes, I said that’s the one. Ok? You win. You diseased maniac. Well, here I am. Bruce, you have to listen to me. Lex Luthor is behind every— ugh ugh Kryptonite bullets. I win. More kryptonite? Dodge. What the?! How? Because I’m faster than a speeding bullet… I win! Oh shi— Sir, he’s taking the creature into space. You mean he’s saving us? It looks that way, sir. Nuke him anyway? No!! Are you crazy? Just let him take it to space. Anndddddd, into the sun! Oh my gosh! Looking for these?? Are you here to help fight the monster? Nope, not this time. Good luck with your cave troll. I love you. No. This is my world. No Clark, you can’t. You are my world. It’s so cliche. Don’t fight the monster. I know what I have to- Alright chumps, let’s do this. Becauuuuuuuuuuse IIIIIIIIII’mmmmmm Batmannnnnn!!!!! So, how does this work? You talk first? I talk first? You stole my victory, Bruce! Nah, that thing would have stabbed you and we’d have to like go to your funeral and stuff… I wouldn’t have died. I would have just been gone for a while. Yea, but you’d probably have to come back evil or something… Make us fight you all over again. So I just went ahead and killed Doomsday. All I know is that was exhausting. Yea.. Like we covered so much ground you’d almost have to go through it multiple times to feel like it made any sense. Right?! Not for me, I pretty much just checked my email and then fought a monster. What were you guys doing the whole time? We were sort of fighting- each other… Fighting is a loose term… I was feeling about saving people for some reason and this guy went down a serious dark path. I may have killed a bunch of guys… No! And bulldozed them with my bat-mobile. That is dark. Yea, but I feel bad about it now. So, that makes it ok. That doesn’t seem right, but whatever. So, what were you two fighting about? It’s so complicated. He thought I was going to kill humans. So he decided to kill me first rather than just talk to me about it. You were going to kill Superman?!? He was gonna try. I sort of let him win. Oh, I beg to differ. I seem to remember you lying on the ground crying out for your mother. And what was her name again? Martha (sniff) Martha. Ahem. I’m sorry, I need a minute. (sobbing) I am so confused. Our moms have the same name. He’s really sensitive about it. Why did you say that name? Your mom isn’t the only Martha in the world, dude. Your mom’s name is like my mom’s name. What does it all mean?!? Ok, I’m good now. Well, this is certainly not what I imagined hanging out with you two would be like. It’s normally not like this. Yea, we’re supposed to be the cool kids. What happened to us?! Uh, he killed people and you forgot to smile. Oh my gosh… the Amazon Goddess is right. Of course I am. I like you, Wonder Woman. Wanna help us form a team? Like the Avengers? No! This is totally different. Why would you think that? I’m saying like a league that serves out… justice. Yea! And then we can be like, “You just got served… some justice!” Ok, maybe this was a bad idea. I vote reboots. Don’t you dare, I just got here! I wanna join, can I be in the league? Yea, me too! Can I join too? Yea, the more the merrier! And me too?! Uhhhhh…… Heh, I’m just kidding! I’m not doing that anymore. Hey, great job murdering people Batman! Killing your enemies is wrong. Oh man… It’s gonna be a while before I live this down, huh? Mmmhmm! Because you’re Batman. What’d I tell you about my catch phrase? Oh! Does that make you mad? Are those fighting words? Don’t you start with me! Wouldn’t want to have to break out the kryptonite. You mean, say Martha?! Ughhh!!!! Why do you keep saying that name? Hahaha it’s just too easy now. Ughhh. I wish Doomsday did kill you. The bell cannot be unrung. He has found us. And he is coming. Ding, ding, ding, ding! Ding, ding ding ding! What does the Lex say?!

100 comments

  1. Superman: hey wheres Martha
    Batman: why did u say that name?!
    Superman: because im batman! Oh wait. sorry
    Batman: why did u say my catchphrase?!
    Superman:(smiles evily) BECAUSE IM BATMAN

  2. Bruce: Who are you?
    Dianna: Are you saying you want to know my, secret identity?
    Bruce: haha I'M BATMAN er, uh, I mean,

    Maybe.

  3. 3:52 then he realize that he’s not Doomsday and is Louis, but he kill her because the joker use a gas that makes he thinks that is doomsday, then he fly and kill the joker….. then starts injustice

  4. I have an explication of the Martha scene:
    Bruce realize that he has become that he promised stop, a murder
    He remember the day that his fathers were killed.

  5. It's weird cause when I first saw the ending cafe scene with batman and superman I was like, what if they did one with batman vs superman, so instead of talking with the movie characters would they be interacting with the movie versions of themselves, or would they actually be the movie versions of themselves

  6. woah. @5:10 That was awesome. HISHE predicted the sequel scenes correctly. Honestly HISHE team would have done much a decent movie than the WB on that sequel.

  7. This is not the things which director want to show about martha. He want show that when superman is dieing he say don't kill he say save martha and batman father also say the same thing when he is dieing

  8. Bro if Superman is faster then a speeding bullet then how did the kryptonite bullets work? This needs a fix I don’t think someone went over this well

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